*** One Army dad's lessons to his son

http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/opinion/oped/bs-ed-military-dad-20160811-story.html

Karl Zagorin 

Dear son: Be proud of me, as a soldier and your dad, for the things I experienced and learned. Here are five. 

Dear son:

Remember eight years ago? You were 5 years old, and I joined the Army. 

Before I enlisted, I visited a friend and mentor for his advice. He was a retired Army two-star general, the first African American to serve as sergeant at arms of the United States Senate.

I brought you with me. 

He smiled at you as you played nearby and then looked carefully at me. "If you make this commitment, there are two things you must understand," he said. "First, you will go to combat. Second, your family will make sacrifices no less important than your own."

The general was right.

You were too young to understand my motivations. But you were old enough to be confused and profoundly hurt by my absences over the years. We grew apart. Maybe because I stayed in the Army, or because your mom and I got divorced. I can't go back and fix it now.

But I wish more than ever to be in your life.

Your grandfather and great-grandfather were soldiers too. They never encouraged me to follow in their footsteps. My dad and grandpa just wanted the same things I want for you: read books and play sports, love and respect the women in your life, form your own opinions.

So I played ball and went to college. I established a civilian career. Along the way, I was lucky to meet your mom. We had you and your little brother. Only then did I want to serve.

You see, Americans always stand up and defend what we treasure most. Our families. Our Constitution. Our democracy and way of life.

Be proud of me, as a soldier and your dad, for the things I experienced and learned.

Here are five:

1. Our military is not for everyone.

It strips away ordinary choices we take for granted. You don't decide what you eat, when you sleep, or with whom you work — and you can't just quit.

But you always determine your effort and attitude.

Because the stakes are so high — the success of the mission and the safety of your buddies — our military belongs to those who work hardest and place the team, not themselves, first.

2. Our military truly is for everyone.

I trained and fought alongside the most dedicated and courageous Americans I will ever know. I trusted them with my life. And guess what?

They were of every race and religion. From big towns and small. Some immigrated from other countries. They were gay and straight. Men and women. I tell you because I've seen it: Women possess the courage and ability to succeed in any role.

3. It would not upset me if you never saw or touched an assault rifle in your life.

I never did. Until I joined the Army.

I learned to expertly maintain and operate an M4 Carbine. I didn't eat, sleep or breathe without it; but my rifle was designed, manufactured and issued to me for the sole purpose of combat.

Our country has to figure out how to keep these deadly weapons out of the hands of criminals and terrorists. If it means I don't get to keep one in our home — I'll be just fine without.

4. Our military is strong — and it's not at war with Islam.

I am awestruck by the competence of military leaders throughout our ranks.

We will defeat groups like ISIS, but we need help from our Muslim friends all over the world who want peace just as much as we do.

Anti-Muslim rhetoric and calls for immigration bans are not just against America's best values; they damage our efforts to defeat the real enemy.

5. Don't believe everything I say is true.

You are my son. There are times I expect you to listen and do as I say. In the Army, I follow the orders of my senior officers.

But I want you to discover your own ideas — based not on emotion or dogma but thoughtful study and observation. Welcome viewpoints that challenge your own and people who seem different than you.

You enjoy these liberties because Americans have always fought to protect them.

So go on and read a book.

Shoot some hoops with your brother — keep practicing your left hand.

Always do your best and, most of all, be good to your mother.

Love,

Dad

Karl Zagorin is a captain in the U.S. Army; his email is kzagorin@yahoo.com.