Telescope: ‘Blowing off’ Pakistan

Shailaja Bajpai

February 19, 2015 

We blew off that Pakistan…” And so we did, but not in the way meant by DIG B.K. Loshali. The chief of staff (Northwest), Coast Guard, Gandhinagar, said at a function in Surat that “we had blown them off”. He referred to the Pakistani boat that sank in a ball of fire, December 31. This explosive disclosure, captured on an exclusive Indian Express video, ran all Wednesday afternoon on TV news channels, even as Defence Minister Manohar Parrikar was seen blithely speaking on every subject but Loshali’s revelation at the Bangalore Aero India 2015 while Loshali and the government denied he said what he said.

Well, nobody can deny that we did blow off Pakistan, Sunday, in Australia at the Adelaide Oval, on Day 2 of World Cup 2015 (Star Sports). For the sixth time in a World Cup, Indians were dancing everywhere the TV cameras went: Chennai, Chandigarh, Jaipur, Mumbai. Aaj Tak had caricatures of the Indian team dancing, Headlines Today had people dancing in the studio (why must they always bhangra when there is something to celebrate?); former cricketer Vinod Kambli danced at India News. Television sets in Pakistan missed a step or two as they crashed to the ground after being hurled down by irate Pakistani fans — a reaction shown repeatedly and delightedly on news channels like Times Now.

Indeed, the first reaction of the channel was to dwell on the “shock” in Pakistan at the loss to India. CNN-IBN hosted a live LoC with PTV. On News X, watched Zaheer Khan and Saqlain Mushtaq graciously concede defeat. By the way, News X claimed that Pakistani supporters in Adelaide left the cricket ground hurriedly because they could not “stomach” the loss, which had been “rigged”. Odd, because on NDTV 24×7 and ABP, we heard Pakistani fans say their team lost fair and square.

The atmosphere was festive on Sunday. The spectators gave a rousing welcome, fit for a king, to every four, six and wicket. And why not? Wasn’t the badshah of superstars in their midst? Amitabh Bachchan created history alongside Virat Kohli — he made his cricket commentary debut while Kohli hit the first century against Pakistan in a World Cup game. Many of us missed Bachchan’s ball and bat session — although Star Sports had promoted his arrival in the commentary box, it didn’t specify the time he’d be there, nor whether he was joining Kapil Dev for Hindi commentary or Sunil Gavaskar in English. Oh well. We’ll watch him in the theatres instead.

Can there be a World Cup without Sachin Tendulkar? The master blaster had till now avoided following the lead of his former teammates Sourav Ganguly, Rahul Dravid and V.V.S. Laxman, who began their broadcasting careers immediately after ending their cricketing innings. With Sachin’s World Cup (Headlines Today), Tendulkar has arrived on television. In conversation with Rajdeep Sardesai, he reminisces, analyses, talks cricket. Thus far, his commentary has been as perfectly balanced as his stance at the wicket — ergo, he’s diplomatic. Asked to predict the result of the Indo-Pak encounter, he said the Indian team was better but don’t underestimate the Pakistanis.

Or an Irishman. Ed Joyce looked around the field, opened his broad shoulders and smote the delivery with the full might of his muscular strength. Once smote, the white ball soared into the blue, blue sky before making a soft landing in the stands where it was greeted by squeals of pleasure from the spectators who had reached out to catch it. Ireland beat the West Indies.

Meanwhile, Hamid Hassan, resembling a mountain warlord rather than a fast bowler, lumbered in to deliver a ball wide off the crease. It nipped back to Sabbir who helpfully chopped it onto his stumps. The war paint on Hassan’s high cheekbones glittered menacingly as he did a “Brett Lee chainsaw celebration” (cricinfo.com). Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough. Afghanistan lost to Bangladesh.

World Cup 2015 has already thrown up some unusual TV heroes, who may also have 56-inch wide chests (or even wider) — Narendra Modi (and Arvind Kejriwal), please step aside. The most engaging of all could be Cyrus Broacha imitating former cricketer Kris Srikkanth (The Week That Wasn’t, CNN-IBN). It’s a perfect match.

Possibly no one can match Navjot Singh Sidhu for a keen sense of the ridiculous. To win matches, he said, you need a killer instinct (Zee News). And where does the killer instinct come from? From a lion. And who was the lion (on Sunday)? India.

Roar.