Psychologists say that “who” a child becomes is determined in the first years of life: personality, behavior, characteristics, the sense of right and wrong. Providing a positive environment that fosters stable development and learning is essential, one that allows for mistakes but sets firm boundaries at the same time. Those are the early, formative years. The years that define life’s path for a child.
Looking back, it really isn’t that much different for a newly-commissioned lieutenant (or ensign). Prone to mistakes, short on experience, the lieutenant is a lot like a doe-eyed toddler exploring the world in one of those “sit and stroll” things that terrorize most households at one time or another. With a modicum of firmness and a lot of patience, the leaders surrounding the lieutenant set the mold, helping to define “who” the lieutenant becomes in those first years in uniform.
In retrospect, I can smile now at my own experiences during those early days. Fresh out of my initial burst of leader education, I arrived at my first duty station with a lot of energy and excitement, but otherwise pretty clueless. My company commander was an easy-going southerner who recognized a nube when he saw one. I was assigned to the platoon that had been without a lieutenant for almost a year, with a grizzled platoon sergeantknown for running young “butterbars” out of the field and back into the company headquarters.
Our first day together began on the physical training field as we broke the morning Kentucky mist with stretches and warmup exercises. We marched the platoon onto the two-lane road and quickly moved to a double-time. Five miles later, with most of the platoon gasping for breath, he pulled a Marlboro from a pack rolled into his shirt sleeve, lit it with a lighter kept in his sock, and took a long pull. “Fuck, L-T, I thought you were tryin’ to kill me out there.” From that moment, we were practically inseparable and forged a relationship that would shape our futures in ways neither of us could imagine.
What I remember most from those early days were his truisms: typically pithy, often obscene, always timeless. They formed the core of my command philosophy, and have proven true again and again over the years since. Some things simply were made to be remembered.
1. If you’re not getting your ass chewed once in a while, you’re not doing your job. Risk is part of the job, and you have to be willing to push the envelope to get the job done. Learn to make a decision and live with the consequences, good or bad.
2. Don’t use the hammer unless you need to. When it comes to discipline, be firm, but fair. Be consistent. And when you have to make a statement, break out the 20-pound sledge hammer and make a statement.
3. You can’t lead from under a truck. Your job is to lead. Knowing the technical aspects of your job is important, but you can’t lead unless you get out of the office and interact with your troops. We call it “Battlefield Circulation” today, and it’s the best way to put hands-on leadership to work.
4. If you take care of them, they’ll take care of you. Everything in life comes down to the Golden Rule. If your troops know you’re looking out for them and actually care about their well-being, they’ll be there for you when you need them most.
5. It ain’t nothin’ but a thing. Don’t sweat the small things. You’re going to have good days and bad days, so learn to roll with the punches. If you’re losing sleep over the color pallet on a PowerPoint slide, you’re in the wrong business.
6. You can’t give somebody an Article 15 for bein’ stupid. People make honest mistakes. You have to be willing to underwrite those mistakes and not establish a zero-defect command climate.
7. Life is about drinkin’ beer and watchin’ flowers grow. Don’t make rash decisions. Consider the facts, not emotions. When you do make a decision, do so knowing that you’ve thought things through.
8. Listen and learn. If you take the time to listen to people, you’ll be amazed at what you learn. Take good notes, and when the time comes to talk, know what you want to say. Don’t read to people out of your green book. Look them in the eye and engage them. Make a connection.
9. They call it an “exception to policy” for a reason. Don’t ever take “no” for an answer. Don’t be afraid to try the “out of the box” solution. Sometimes, the doctrinal answer is the wrong one. If you think you might get into trouble, refer to #1.
10. Don’t wait ‘til you retire to get to know your family. For all of us, this journey we call a career will eventually come to an end. At the end of that long road, nothing matters more than your family. If they were an afterthought, you’ll reach the end of that road alone.
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